(photos out of order.... sorry!)
I'm alive!
This summer has been crazy.
I'm also married! Kind of. Long story.
We cancelled the wedding we were planning. The one that had a 150 person guest list,a photobooth, and an awesome photography package. We cancelled it because, in the end, we just couldn't afford it, so it seemed the responsible thing to do.
So, we started looking into plan Bs. After all, we still wanted to get married. So we started planning elopement options where we would kind of semi elope with our immediate families and the bridal party in attendance, and then have a small, simple party later for friends.
At first, cancelling the wedding really, really depressed me. But then I REALLY started to like our elopement options!
Then, out of the blue one day, Curtis called me and said that he and my mom had worked out a way for use to still have a version of the wedding, we'd just have to cut back on things like some of the extras and the guest list. My parents were also putting in more money and so were his parents. While extremely touched at every one's generosity, I wasn't exactly gung ho about it because I loved my elopement idea...
Plus when we had been planning the wedding before it was SOOOOO stressful. It had been so nice to not deal with any of the drama anymore. I had tried very hard to avoid typical wedding drama, but, well, it seems that weddings have a life of their own, much like other expensive rights of passage in life, like children for example, and well, you have absolutely no idea what kind of wedding you're gonna have until you're smack in the middle of it crying in a ball on the floor and saying over and over "Why does everyone HATE me?" or "Why did I ever think I could do this?"
THIS is why wedding planners were invented. We should have had a wedding planner. But everything was so easy when it was just Curtis and I making decisions in the beginning..... oh well. You live, you learn.
In any case, yeah, I was not at all gung ho about having to deal with wedding planning again. I just wanted to get on with my elopement ideas which were SO awesome. We had a plan for Vegas and for Napa Valley that we were trying to decide between and both were seriously awesome! And both were all about what he and I wanted and nothing about what anyone else wanted yet still including our families and closest friends. It was perfect.
That being said.... people were telling me I may regret not doing it up "bigger". There was still a part of me who wanted to see some portion of my wedding visions come to fruition after all the hell of planning that we'd already gone through. Also, a lot of the planning was already done so, we assumed all the drama would be behind us. So, I was left to make the decision on my own. I had a week to decide. To wedding or to elope?
So... after a week of anguish over the two, I decided that what I REALLY wanted was both! But doing Napa or Vegas the way we had planned AND the big wedding was impossible. Originally, when we had started planning, we had wanted a big winery wedding, but we couldn't afford that, So, I called the winery we had liked in Temecula and arranged to have a small "open elopement" for just us and out families and whoever from the bridal party could make it, and then still do the bigger wedding.
It was perfect! The best of both worlds!
The elopement was beautiful. We did it in August so we'd have time between that one and the wedding. Ordinarily I would never think to have a wedding in August. But it had been such a mild summer. Seriously not that hot at all. And we had thought it might be fun to do it on 8-9-10! But that date didn't really work out for us, so we had to do it the next week. That was unfortunately the first REALLY hot day of the "most mild summer ever" (well, of course, why wouldn't it be?) and so it was 110 degrees during our outdoor, no shade ceremony. But it was sooooo pretty. And it was really a great day! After that we changed into more comfy (ie: much cooler and easier to move in)"wedding clothes" and then had lunch at the winery restaurant and then Curtis, me and our friend and photographer Greg went for some wine tasting at another winery and then Curtis and I retired to an awesome winery hotel and spa resort! We had a certified minister, however, we did not sign our license, as we want our official anniversary to be later. So, we're married in spirit, but not by law... yet. :)
Then it was back to finishing the planning for the wedding. Only, we had lost a little over a month in planning by then from when we had cancelled it. So now we were racing against a clock. Tensions and emotions were strained and well, remember how we thought we were done with drama? Yeah. Not so much. More tears. More hurt feelings. Seriously, I am not sure why people have weddings. They definitely bring out the best in people, but they also bring out the worst. I enjoyed the very beginning of our wedding planning back when Curtis and I thought that we could afford to pay for almost all of it and it was just us planning our nice, simple and unique day. And I enjoyed the elopement planning a whole lot! But then...for the wedding it was just a stressful, 7 month emotional roller coaster. Curtis and my Maid of Honor both agree that yes, most weddings have some drama at some point, but no, not all wedding planning goes as awry and as awful as mine has. I have been pretty unlucky in my planning. So much of it has been up in the air at times, and the plans have had to change for EVERYTHING from the engagement party, to the actual wedding plans, to my shower which was last week- things have been constantly up in the air or changed at the last minute. There were always valid reasons, but the reasons were always totally out of my hands. My Maid of Honor keeps saying "The theme for your wedding is 'Everything Is Gonna Change!'" She's right. That makes things quite stressful. So, you'll have to forgive me when I say yes, I am SO excited for my actual wedding! It's going to be an awesome day! But I also just really want it all to be over. I'm absolutely drained from planning this wedding.
Having been in my friend Karen's wedding as Maid of Honor and also a bride myself, here's what I can now officially say: I do not enjoy planning weddings. I enjoy going to weddings, I enjoy being in weddings, but I do not relish any position that involves planning the weddings. It's good to know these things about yourself. So, there will be no more wedding planning in my future after this wedding. :)
I also now know that the happy yet extremely awkward and uncomfortable feeling I have at showers does not change when it is my own shower. Did I mention that the second REALLY hot day of this "mildest summer ever in CA" was the day of my shower and it was technically FALL at that point? Yup. I hate you Mother Nature. And uh... it's now officially October so lets just dial down that thermostat ok?
Oh yes! We also moved and are rehearsing for a show together! So, yeah, lots of stuff going on! No wonder I am stressed. The show is actually REALLY fun. But the timing of it being right before the wedding could have been better, however, we are so happy to be a part of it!
We live in a cute little two bedroom bungalow now. It's super adorable and conveniently close to the theater and to many restaurants we like!
So... that's what's been going on in my neck of the woods. Thanks for reading! Now that we have internet again after months without really having it, I will try to post more often again! :)
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