02-04-10 Bad Day Overload

Do you ever have one of those days that starts out bad and just continues to get worse and worse until by the end of it you don't know which way is up? Yeah. Today was that kind of day. There were many tears, frustrations and tantrums. Essentially it boiled down to financial woes of unemployment, career fears as an actress/filmmaker who can't seem to get out of the "struggling" category, and life goals that seem about a million miles away at the moment. I felt like I was working my ass off for things and getting absolutely nowhere. The economy is surely not helping but it can't just be the economy because well, I've kind of been in this position off and on my entire teenage and adult life. Quite frankly I think today I reached the limit of patience when it comes to feeling totally unappreciated for all of my efforts in life. But, I don't care to dwell on that anymore today. So, onward!

There was ONE bright spot. My final dress rehearsal. I love performing for a whole variety of reasons but the main one that stands out right now it that, especially when on stage, you can disappear into a character and get instant gratification from the audience when you do a good job. As an insecure actress it is nice to hear people laughing when they are supposed to laugh and it is nice to have them tell you that you did well after the show. In short, it is nice to be appreciated for your efforts. I put on the painful killer heels that have become Sheila's trademark and and when I get on stage people laugh and I feel like I accomplished something and I made people laugh a bit and that's nice.

The photo for today is after the rehearsal in my dressing room space. It was peaceful and quiet and nobody else was around and it was the only time this whole wretched day that I felt like I could just relax and breathe. As soon as I left the theater it was right back into the fray.

Don't worry, as I type this on Friday, things are quite a bit better. :)

02-03-10

I had a crappy day today. I didn't get a chance to do any good deeds because I realized how much a charity case I am at the moment. Being unemployed for just over a year now is grating on my last nerve. I don't want to go into it too deeply though because that's not what this blog is about. Here's how I spent my day: I woke up, I checked emails, I looked for jobs. I went to apply in person at a new restaurant opening up. I waited for almost two hours. Finally they realized they were behind so, just my luck, instead of getting a one on one interview when I was the very NEXT person so be interviewed, I got to be part of a 4 person group interview.

It went okay but having 4 of us there seemed to hurt all of our chances. Everyone seemed thrown off by the group format, especially after watching so many people before us get personal one on one interviews. I felt for the people interviewing though, I heard one interviewer tell an interviewee that they had had Five THOUSAND applicants so far. I had really been hoping to get this job as, I've been hired on just about every a serving job I applied for in person. I didn't get one serving job because they were snobby people in Corona Del Mar and I think they wanted swanky, leggy super model cocktail waitresses and they also asked me lots of questions about very obscure wines and then smirked when I didn't have the proper amount of knowledge about them. So, screw those assholes. And to be clear, my wine knowledge is pretty damned good for the most part. Anyway, I've worked for companies like Disney, Cheesecake Factory, Macaroni Grill and PF Changs so usually they glance over my resume and hire me on the spot. Today was not quite like that.

So, as of yet I have not been called for a second interview. I really am at a loss as to how to make ends meet and it's thrown me into quite a downward spiral.

Anyway, because of my stress I neglected to take any photos of the hiring center or myself getting ready for the interview. I did take photos after my rehearsal though with my stage makeup still on while sleepy and about to go to bed. So, that's the photo. It will have to do.

02-02-10

Happy Groundhog Day!

So, today I babysat for my friends. I'm gonna consider that a bit of a good deed even though they pay me and here's why: I had to be at their house at 8 am. I knew my rehearsal last night would go past 11 pm. I knew that I wouldn't get to bed until well after midnight and I knew that I was supposed to apply for a job today during the time I would be babysitting and that it might be hard to get there in time. So, if they weren't my friends and if their daughter wasn't such a cute and sweet baby, I probably wouldn't have agreed to do it. :) But they are great friends and their daughter is sweet so, when they ask me to sit with her, if I can, I do.

Today a little cat came to visit at their door. It was cute. It was named Angel and it was very friendly.


I was there from 8-2:30 but I forgot my resume for the job interview so I had to go home first which was the opposite direction of the interview. By the time I got home and tried to print out the resume it was too late for me to make it back before 4 pm when they stop interviewing.

So, I'll just have to go tomorrow. No biggie. I was exhausted anyway and I took a nap. Oh yeah, my life is super glamorous. ;-)

Now I am headed to rehearsal. Yup, it's a glamorous life I lead!

Feb 1st part 2 Bless All the Creatures Big and Small!

The above is a photo Curtis took of me at my rehearsal. You can choose this as my pic of the day or the photo in the previous blog about the "Be Yourself" quote. I personally like the "Be Yourself" pic but I wanted to include a different pic with this second blog.

My good deed today wasn't convenient to photograph. I purchased a "gift" for a dog at the Orange County Animal Shelter while picking up food for Frankie. It consisted of a can of wet food and a rawhide chew. I hope that the dog or dogs that get those things really enjoy them. I'm not positive but I am pretty sure that that particular shelter is a high kill pound. They get too many animals to keep any of them very long. Many of those dogs and cats get put down, I am hoping that I can help make their last days a litle more bearable in those cold, concrete cages. In fact, I had wanted to volunteer at that shelter to walk the dogs and play with them. But, I don't know if I can handle that since so many get put down everyday I am afraid that I would always be in tears. :( But I am hoping to visit at least a few times this month and then throughout the future to bring the dogs toys and treats and blankets and stuff. Please consider adopting your next dog. There are so many homeless dogs in shelters, pounds and rescues. And remember, when you get a dog, you get a dog for the duration of it's life. They are sentient beings and should not just be "dumped" with rescues or at the pound because they become "too much work" or "inconvenient". It's not fair to get a dog, keep it a few years and then abandon it.





The above photos are all by Karen Halker-Miller who is one of my best friends and an avid dog rescue advocate. She has 3 rescues of her own!
Right now Frankie is in the living room playing with his toys. I can hear the squeaking. :) He's my lucky, spoiled little rescue. I consider adopting him among the best decisions of my life. But my next adopted baby is coming straight from death row at a pound I think. Those poor dogs just break my heart into a million pieces. We also rescued our other dog Rosebud, she was a pound puppy. They were the best of friends until Rosebud died.

That's my little PSA of the day.

I also loaned a dress to one of my fellow cast mates for my show. And in return she loaned me one as well. :)

Now, go out there and make the world a better place!

02-01-10 Happy February! Woo-hoo! Part 1

February is one of my favorite months! It is my birthday month and has always held a nice place in my heart.

The above photo is of a little bit prose that came with a necklace I was given for Christmas. I love this. I love the necklace too, but this advice is priceless and goes along with what I am trying to accomplish within myself as well as what I would like to spread to the rest of the world. Be YOURSELF. Be the very best version of YOU that you can be. Trying to be somebody else will only make you miserable and will most likely keep you from being and doing what you are meant to be and do with your life!

Because it is a month known for love because of it being the home month for Valentines Day and such, I decided that the theme for this month should be doing good deeds. Sharing the love. Paying it Forward. However you'd like to think of it.
Doing this challenge of a pic a day with different themes for the month has been really rewarding. The last time I did the pic a day challenge I didn't blog about each day and I didn't have different themes. I am really enjoying having to find meaning and lessons and the beauty in every day when I blog about it. Being forced to go out and do and try more things than normal was really great! Curtis and I did a lot more interesting stuff than we might have normally. I know that I tend to get stuck in ruts and sometimes, even worse, self pitying ruts. Having to go out and do things reminded me that I have the ability to make my life what I would like it to be. Whether I have money or not. I'm really looking forward to the doing good deeds challenge because I know that I feel better about my life when I am able to help other people or animals, even if only in a small way. Since it might be hard to photograph the good deeds, my daily photos will just be interesting pics of the day or pretty pics or they just may be representative of the day.

I am also going to try and meet up with an old friend at least once a week starting this month. I don't know how long I am going to do this particular part of the challenge so I guess we'll see how this month goes and take it month to month after that.

I haven't done my good deed yet today and the day is only half over at this point so I will blog again for today at the end of the day or tomorrow morning.

Happy February!

01-31-10 Hell Week Starteth!

This was a busy day! Basically I had to squeeze in some sort of workout, and then get to one of my niece's two soccer games and then search for some good costume pieces and then get to rehearsal for the start of our tech week, also known as "hell week".

I did some yoga, then headed over to the second soccer game for my niece. She and her team won both games! They are a very good team! Considering that my niece used to hate soccer, it's amazing how well she does now and the change in her confidence that has come with finding an activity that she both enjoys and is good at! She's got the makings of quite a good little soccer star!

Then I headed to the District, an outdoor mall in Tustin/Irvine. It is huge and on a Sunday it is WAY crowded. I was looking for a store my friend Liz had told me about where nothing is ever over $15. I found it relatively easy and they had some cute stuff but nothing that would work for me costume wise other than a few cheap bangle bracelets. But I did pick up a couple of tops for me. :)So then I battled the traffic out to head back home.

I rummaged through my closet and found some stuff that would just have to do and then headed to rehearsal. I stopped at my brother and sis in laws house since it's on the way so I could spend a bit of time with them. Curtis came over a little later because he was going to be babysitting the girls while my brother and sis in law went to a party. Then I left to go to rehearsal. Tech rehearsals can be tricky to time. Especially the first one. So, even though I was told to come late since I am only in the second act, I still got there way too early and ended up hanging out for a couple hours before I was used. My pic is of me in the lobby. My first dress/tech rehearsal at The Costa Mesa Playhouse.

01-30-10 Saturday Date Night!

We weren't supposed to have a date night tonight. We thought we were going to a benefit in LA. Then we thought we were meeting friends to hang out in Fullerton. Neither of those things happened. We did get to say a quick hello to our friends in Fullerton but then they had to rush off for other plans (miscommunication on our part) and so we were left with the whole evening ahead of us. We haven't had a proper date night in long time so, we decided to stay out and see where the night took us.

It took us first to Rutabagorz. Rutabagorz is a great health food/semi vegetarian restaurant and it happens to also be the site of me and Curtis's first ever "REAL" date 12 years ago. I really love that place and so does Curtis so, we decided that we really need to go there more often. It's fun and funky and boho. I had a salad that was as big as my head.



Then we headed over to the Olde Ship restaurant and pub. I'd never been there even though I driven past it many times.

It's a neat English style pub and a lot of English transplants hang out there as well as some American Anglophiles.

We had a great time sitting at the bar and listening to the conversations around us and chatting with the bartender. It made Curtis and I both long to go back to England for a bit. We've decided we just can't hate the whole country even though our beloved Frankie is banned there. ;-)


After a couple of pints and a delicious English Toffee Pudding, we went home and called it a night. It was a lovely evening and need to try and have those more often!